Am I just a charity case...?
Am I just a joke?
A thing...a toy for people to laugh at?
I want to believe so much that there is some good left in this world. That someone out there would actually love me for who I am and would look pass on what I am. I've been played, used and lied to so many times. But isn't it the same for everyone? Shouldn't we suffer a little for a greater happiness in the future?
Is it wrong for me to want to feel happy?
Stop trying to tell me the things I already know.
I know I'm an eyesore and that no one will probably want me and that I may one day live alone or even die young. But for a second of my miserable and hated life, can I not feel happy? Let me live while I still have the chance to. I don't need your hurtful words on the truth that I already know. Let me be happy even if it doesn't lasts. I just want to be happy even if it means I live a lie because I know dreams are much better than reality and in that dream I can live without tears.
Can't you just accept that?
Can't anyone just accept me for who I am?
Am I not enough of a decent person? Am I not friendly enough or nice enough? Am I not beautiful enough? Words can hurt me when they are the same words that have been repeated over and over again throughout my entire life.
"You're fat and ugly."
Is it so wrong to be who I am? Is it so wrong to be what I am?
Am I that much of an eyesore and a burden to this world?
Playing jokes on me and toy with my feelings then telling me I'm not worth anything.
Why?
Why do this to me?
What have I ever done to anyone or the world to deserve this kind of treatment from the world?
Passing judgement on me based on my weight and my looks when they know nothing about me. Push me around, tease me and hate on me when I've done nothing wrong. Taking pleasure in my tears, suffering and solitude as a source of entertainment when all I've done is be who I am.
"How am I suppose to believe I'm worth something when I'm told 50 different times a day that I'm not?"
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Rant rant rant and cursings...
Okay, so I'm gonna rant on some pointless shit that you guys don't probably care about but I don't give a shit cause this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. So shut up and read.
Alright.
As you all know, I'm currently studying in Sunway College and also staying in a hostel called Sun-U residence. Everything has been going pretty great. I made friends and classes are hard but I'm surviving. But that's not what I want to rant about today. I'm going to freaking tell you guys how many fucking times I got called EMO here. Yea, I got called bloody emo pretty much every single day I'm here. Even on the week of my orientation I got a few people coming up to me and just flat out ask me, "Are you emo?" then I would respond with "No..." and then they would say "Well, you look pretty emo to me..". I simply didn't really give a fuck about that but there was one time that when I passed this group of boys they laughed at me. Naturally I would avoid conflict but I was already frustrated enough that day. So I turned to them and ask what was their problem with me. And they responded with "Do you have a razor blade? Do you cut yourself emo girl, huh?" and laughed. Oh come on! That's a little immature, don't ya think? A little pathetic even.
Okay you ignorant motherfuckers.
Listen to me.
Emo is not a word, alright?
If you guys are smart fuckers you would know that there's no such word. It doesn't even exist in the bloody dictionary, alright? So it's not a word. I know 'emotional' and the bird 'emu'. Even if you wanna use the term 'emo' don't use it to label someone's dress code, you losers. Just because people like dark make-up and likes a certain type of hairstyle and clothes, it doesn't necessarily make one an 'emo'. I think that emo is more suitable for people who are very emotional even then it needs to be categorized and said the right way where it makes sense. Like when your friend is acting suicidal you can say that person is an emo because she is being emotional, okay? But here, I get constantly abused with the word emo on a daily basis because of the way I dress and look.
HELLO!
Emo is not a fashion sense you dimwitted bimbos!
It's just a label that people use to stereotype people into a certain group. For example preps, jocks and nerds. Those are commonly used terms to stereotype people. Instead of making a hasty generalization, why don't you twits understand the word properly first and think about it before saying it which might still make you look like a complete idiot in the end anyway because you're just being stupidly rude. So get this through you're ridiculously thick and empty skulls, okay?
I'M NOT EMO!
Understand it. Memorize it. Motherfucking eat it, you assholes.
Okay, enough about that.
Here's a recent shot of me in my hostel room.
I know you can't see much of the room but that's pretty much my side of the room. Oh yea and you guys can see my new hair! Well, not really but basically I've taken out my extensions and cut it short with bangs over my eyes sweeping right.
And yes, I have a room mate.
Alright. That's all, ya'll.
Catch ya cool cats latuhzz!!
Alright.
As you all know, I'm currently studying in Sunway College and also staying in a hostel called Sun-U residence. Everything has been going pretty great. I made friends and classes are hard but I'm surviving. But that's not what I want to rant about today. I'm going to freaking tell you guys how many fucking times I got called EMO here. Yea, I got called bloody emo pretty much every single day I'm here. Even on the week of my orientation I got a few people coming up to me and just flat out ask me, "Are you emo?" then I would respond with "No..." and then they would say "Well, you look pretty emo to me..". I simply didn't really give a fuck about that but there was one time that when I passed this group of boys they laughed at me. Naturally I would avoid conflict but I was already frustrated enough that day. So I turned to them and ask what was their problem with me. And they responded with "Do you have a razor blade? Do you cut yourself emo girl, huh?" and laughed. Oh come on! That's a little immature, don't ya think? A little pathetic even.
Okay you ignorant motherfuckers.
Listen to me.
Emo is not a word, alright?
If you guys are smart fuckers you would know that there's no such word. It doesn't even exist in the bloody dictionary, alright? So it's not a word. I know 'emotional' and the bird 'emu'. Even if you wanna use the term 'emo' don't use it to label someone's dress code, you losers. Just because people like dark make-up and likes a certain type of hairstyle and clothes, it doesn't necessarily make one an 'emo'. I think that emo is more suitable for people who are very emotional even then it needs to be categorized and said the right way where it makes sense. Like when your friend is acting suicidal you can say that person is an emo because she is being emotional, okay? But here, I get constantly abused with the word emo on a daily basis because of the way I dress and look.
HELLO!
Emo is not a fashion sense you dimwitted bimbos!
It's just a label that people use to stereotype people into a certain group. For example preps, jocks and nerds. Those are commonly used terms to stereotype people. Instead of making a hasty generalization, why don't you twits understand the word properly first and think about it before saying it which might still make you look like a complete idiot in the end anyway because you're just being stupidly rude. So get this through you're ridiculously thick and empty skulls, okay?
I'M NOT EMO!
Understand it. Memorize it. Motherfucking eat it, you assholes.
Okay, enough about that.
Here's a recent shot of me in my hostel room.
I know you can't see much of the room but that's pretty much my side of the room. Oh yea and you guys can see my new hair! Well, not really but basically I've taken out my extensions and cut it short with bangs over my eyes sweeping right.
And yes, I have a room mate.
Alright. That's all, ya'll.
Catch ya cool cats latuhzz!!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
HELP ME & HELP THE ELEPHANTS!!
Ohmygod!
Guys if you love me please read this and sign it.
Help out the elephants.
If you do it I'll love forever and EVER! (maaaaaybe ;p)
Guys if you love me please read this and sign it.
Help out the elephants.
If you do it I'll love forever and EVER! (maaaaaybe ;p)
CLICK IT AND HELP THESE POOR CREATURES!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
La La updates! And lip piercings?
It's seems like forever since I made an update but really, it hasn't been forever has it? I have absolutely no idea why you weirdos like to even come here and read about my ridiculously-boring updates on my life. But to satisfy you're never ending requests, here's an update for you guys.
Okay, so as all of you know, I changed my hair(so maybe not all of you if you don't have my myspace). Again.
Yes people!
Since I'm done with highschool, I can do whatever the shit I want with my hair and no one can say anything about it. So, HAH!
Thinking about redying my whole hair red and my bags blue but still can't find the hair dye. Yes, I want to dye it myself. Ya know, in shops they never sell any other hair dye colour except for natural colours. It's driving me insane trying to find the colours of the rainbow. Yes, people. Don't be shocked if one day you see me with rainbow hair. Like the skittles says, TASTE THE RAINBOW! Oh yea, and can anyone tell me where to find bleach. I wanna bleach my hair myself cause doing it in salons cost a load of cash and I'm all about saving now cause of my family's financial crisis at the moment. It's all about "Doing it myself" now! Wooo!
Oh and I'm also thinking about getting the left side of my lower lip pierced/snake bites. Write a comment or whatever telling me which one is better. Oh and maybe try and help me to figure out how to hide it from my parents too.
So yea, that's all.
I have classes to get to.
TOODLE LOO!
Okay, so as all of you know, I changed my hair(so maybe not all of you if you don't have my myspace). Again.
Yes people!
Since I'm done with highschool, I can do whatever the shit I want with my hair and no one can say anything about it. So, HAH!
Thinking about redying my whole hair red and my bags blue but still can't find the hair dye. Yes, I want to dye it myself. Ya know, in shops they never sell any other hair dye colour except for natural colours. It's driving me insane trying to find the colours of the rainbow. Yes, people. Don't be shocked if one day you see me with rainbow hair. Like the skittles says, TASTE THE RAINBOW! Oh yea, and can anyone tell me where to find bleach. I wanna bleach my hair myself cause doing it in salons cost a load of cash and I'm all about saving now cause of my family's financial crisis at the moment. It's all about "Doing it myself" now! Wooo!
Oh and I'm also thinking about getting the left side of my lower lip pierced/snake bites. Write a comment or whatever telling me which one is better. Oh and maybe try and help me to figure out how to hide it from my parents too.
So yea, that's all.
I have classes to get to.
TOODLE LOO!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Busy busy busy...!
Alright guys, I'm in college now and classes have already started.
I've already moved into my college hostel which is Sun-U residence and I'll be staying there for 8-10months according to my course.
I'll only be coming back on the weekends and I don't have internet connection up in my hostel room. Right now I'm using the library computer but I can't stay long. So, there will be less updates from me because I'll be pretty busy with college assignments, classes and exams.
So please don't bug me for updates.
If I have time I'll make one.
For those who want to know how I am doing or what I'm up to, then just text me alright. You guys have my number and you can find out what I'm up to 24/7 if you wanted to.
Okay, that's all!
See you guys soon~
I've already moved into my college hostel which is Sun-U residence and I'll be staying there for 8-10months according to my course.
I'll only be coming back on the weekends and I don't have internet connection up in my hostel room. Right now I'm using the library computer but I can't stay long. So, there will be less updates from me because I'll be pretty busy with college assignments, classes and exams.
So please don't bug me for updates.
If I have time I'll make one.
For those who want to know how I am doing or what I'm up to, then just text me alright. You guys have my number and you can find out what I'm up to 24/7 if you wanted to.
Okay, that's all!
See you guys soon~
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
So here it is...
Okay so this is so people would motherfucking stop asking me because it gets kind of annoying.
So listen people.
I will be entering college on the 6th July and I will be doing a course called Monash University Foundation year in Sunway college.
It's a 8-10months long course considering if I pass all my subjects.
I haven't gotten a hostel yet because the hostel I wanted haven't got any rooms available yet but I am on they're waiting list. However, I will have to drive back and forth from my house to college until then which is such a bother because it's an hour drive and that doesn't include for when there is traffic.
If you want more information on my course, go here (http://www.sunway.edu.my/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=679&Itemid=552&lang=iso-8859-1).
It really kind of annoys me that people keep asking me constantly about it.
And for those who I have already told to, there's your answer, again.
So yea.
So listen people.
I will be entering college on the 6th July and I will be doing a course called Monash University Foundation year in Sunway college.
It's a 8-10months long course considering if I pass all my subjects.
I haven't gotten a hostel yet because the hostel I wanted haven't got any rooms available yet but I am on they're waiting list. However, I will have to drive back and forth from my house to college until then which is such a bother because it's an hour drive and that doesn't include for when there is traffic.
If you want more information on my course, go here (http://www.sunway.edu.my/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=679&Itemid=552&lang=iso-8859-1).
It really kind of annoys me that people keep asking me constantly about it.
And for those who I have already told to, there's your answer, again.
So yea.
Wish me luck guys!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Why is that...?
Why is that every minute of every hour of every day, my thoughts are filled with you?
Why is that when you're away I keep hearing your voice calling my name?
Why is that everywhere I look, I see your face as clear as day in my mind filling my heart with longing for you?
Why is that I fall deeper and deeper in love with you when I know I can't have you?
Why is that when I know the consequences of falling for you and heartbreak I will go through, I still want to be with you?
But everytime I try to stop myself those simple words that you keep telling me would ring loudly in my head.
Those three simple words have gotten me spellbound to you.
Why is that...?
Why is that when you're away I keep hearing your voice calling my name?
Why is that everywhere I look, I see your face as clear as day in my mind filling my heart with longing for you?
Why is that I fall deeper and deeper in love with you when I know I can't have you?
Why is that when I know the consequences of falling for you and heartbreak I will go through, I still want to be with you?
But everytime I try to stop myself those simple words that you keep telling me would ring loudly in my head.
"You are beautiful."
Those three simple words have gotten me spellbound to you.
Why is that...?
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