Am I just a charity case...?

Am I just a charity case...?

Am I just a joke?

A thing...a toy for people to laugh at?

I want to believe so much that there is some good left in this world. That someone out there would actually love me for who I am and would look pass on what I am. I've been played, used and lied to so many times. But isn't it the same for everyone? Shouldn't we suffer a little for a greater happiness in the future?
Is it wrong for me to want to feel happy?

Stop trying to tell me the things I already know.
I know I'm an eyesore and that no one will probably want me and that I may one day live alone or even die young. But for a second of my miserable and hated life, can I not feel happy? Let me live while I still have the chance to. I don't need your hurtful words on the truth that I already know. Let me be happy even if it doesn't lasts. I just want to be happy even if it means I live a lie because I know dreams are much better than reality and in that dream I can live without tears.
Can't you just accept that?

Can't anyone just accept me for who I am?
Am I not enough of a decent person? Am I not friendly enough or nice enough? Am I not beautiful enough? Words can hurt me when they are the same words that have been repeated over and over again throughout my entire life.

"You're fat and ugly."

Is it so wrong to be who I am? Is it so wrong to be what I am?
Am I that much of an eyesore and a burden to this world?
Playing jokes on me and toy with my feelings then telling me I'm not worth anything.
Why?
Why do this to me?
What have I ever done to anyone or the world to deserve this kind of treatment from the world?
Passing judgement on me based on my weight and my looks when they know nothing about me. Push me around, tease me and hate on me when I've done nothing wrong. Taking pleasure in my tears, suffering and solitude as a source of entertainment when all I've done is be who I am.

"How am I suppose to believe I'm worth something when I'm told 50 different times a day that I'm not?"